The Doc and Mr. Youngman

The doctor says to the patient, “Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window”. “What will that do?” asks the patient. The doctor says, “I’m mad at my neighbor!”

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”

“Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says, “Limp!”

Doctor says to a man, “You’re pregnant!” The man says, “How does a man get pregnant?” The doctor says, “The usual way – a little wine, a little dinner….”

A man goes to a psychiatrist. “Nobody listens to me!” The doctor says, “Next!”

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, “You’re crazy” The man says, “I want a second opinion!” “Okay, you’re ugly too!”

“Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.” “Don’t answer!”

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Published in: on December 23, 2009 at 3:16 PM  Leave a Comment  

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